Do you allow fear to stand in your way?

Is fear stopping you from going after something that you want?

Is fear acting like a big tall wall keeping you away from a dream?

Fear is like an imaginary demon that many people allow to live in their minds. It torments them, haunts them, and makes them feel so small that they stop doing what they really want to do. I’m sure that you have at least one of those imaginary demons living in your mind — or you would not be reading this right now.

Hmmm…well, I know the feeling, because that little demon was in my mind as well and sometimes it revisits me. When he starts knocking, we have to have a little talk and work on a few issues, then fortunately, these days, he strolls away.

Fear is something we all have to deal with from time to time. But, there are some people, that fear is always there and seems to permanently reside in their thought patterns interrupting them from being content doing what they desire to.

It’s interesting actually, that we allow these illusions to have so much control. These illusions are not even real nor tangible. What we fear is not even present because it’s about something that we think may happen in the future – whether that future is in a few moments or in a few months.

It seems a bit crazy when you really think about it. We are scared of something happening that has not actually happened and most likely will not happen.

However, what’s interesting, is that by fearing something (especially when we obsessively fear something), we often create what we fear to become a reality in the future. This is because we are so focused on this fear which affects our mental state, our emotional patterns, our words and our actions. We basically set ourselves up for attracting this “something” to us. For example, you fear social situations because you are afraid people may judge you, not like you, think something awful of you, or you are unsure what to talk about. By worrying about these things, you are more likely to stutter, look unpleasant, make mistakes, spill a drink or something else that could be avoided if you were able to focus on and enjoy your interactions.

Another interesting, yet unfortunate aspect about fear,Is  is that it takes you away from what you really want. For example, if you are fearful of being cheated on by your partner, you are always looking to see if he/she is acting in suspicious ways, you may be badgering your partner with questions about the opposite sex, and you feel insecure about the relationship. All of these things will most likely push your partner away instead of bringing him/her closer.  Instead of fearing, you can be admiring the good qualities, focusing on what you value about your relationship, and enjoying your time together – all which will enhance the quality of your partnership.

What is it that you fear? Social situations, balloons, being abandoned, snakes, dentists, being poor, being cheated on, being fired, not getting a new job, being alone for the rest of your life, making mistakes, not attaining your goals, cats, love, death?

If you have had a fear for a long time, you know the damage that fear can do. It can destroy opportunities, relationships, careers, health, and the quality of your life.

Overcoming fear is easier said than done, as you know. If would refreshing, if we wake one day and “poof” the fear is gone. Unfortunately, this is not the case for most people.

As a life coach, I help people overcome fear all the time. Fear is one of the biggest stumbling blocks that I have seen that come between a person’s dreams and actually achieving their dreams. This is true for those that want a healthy and happy relationship, a better career, improved vitality, and all of those goals people have like public speaking, writing a book, swimming, drawing, making new friends, overcoming an addiction and so on.

One of the first steps is to acknowledge your fears, admit them and realize how they are disrupting your life. Once you are able to do this, then you can work on overcoming your fear and transforming it into something else that is more useful in your life.

When you are finally ready to overcome your fear, I have over 18 years experience helping people move past their fears and to move forward with their goals. Reach out. That’s what I am here for!

Much love,

Joanne Cipressi
Personal and Relationship Coach