let go of fear

Tips for Building Confidence for Social Events

People who know me see me as being very sociable, confident and friendly. I am — now. However, I was not always this way.

When I was in my teens and early 20’s, I had terrible social anxiety when it came to certain events. For example, I would agree to go to parties or events with friends and I really wanted to go and looked forward to it — until about an hour or two before the party — especially if everything was not just right!

At that time, I began to panic and my mind turned on me. I began to overanalyze and fear set in. I began to pick myself apart and imagined every reason why no one would want to talk with me. So, I often called my friends and cancelled. It was a horrible place to be and if you experience any type of social anxiety whether its with dating, networking events, work events, business meetings, or fun parties, I feel for you — because I have personally been there. Here are some tips that have helped me and you may benefit from these tips so you can feel confident at social events.

These tips that I offer today are not common suggestions for helping people build their confidence when meeting new people, but they worked for myself and many of my clients. I am going to offer only three tips-one for each the mind, body and emotions. When these three areas of yourself are aligned with one another, you have a better chance at being successful at whatever it is that you do – whether it is for your business or personal life.

1. Body: Exercise

Regular exercise improves your energy levels and produces happy and confident releasing chemicals like testosterone and endorphins. I refer to exercise as a cheat-cheat for feeling confident as these chemicals are very powerful.

I suggest to go for a run, fast walk, jump rope, jump on a trampoline, or some other enjoyable aerobic exercise before you get ready to go to your event and experience the results. ALSO, as an added bonus, exercise gets you in shape which helps you look better and gives you another reason to be confident.

2. Mind: Realize Your Past is in the Past

let go of fearThis is very important! Whatever has caused you to lose your confidence is in the past — it’s done and over with. By you allowing this situation or other situations to affect you, you are essentially still giving power to your past — which is over with.

Just because you were not confident and felt insecure when meeting new people for the last ten years, the last year, and even yesterday does not mean that you have to continue to feel that way. You can choose to change and to learn to be more confident.

Just because you were fearful in the past, does not mean you have to remain fearful. You can change. You can be powerful like that!

So my suggestion is to allow yourself to be a new person (or actually, the “real confident you” that was lost). Talk with yourself in a positive way and give yourself permission to be in the moment and to let the past go. You do have the power to let the old you go and become who you want to be.

3. Emotions: Listen to some upbeat, inspiring and happy music.

Often, before I go out or while driving to an event, I LOVE to stimulate my emotions by some uplifting music. Music has a special way of touching you in a way that nothing else can.

My suggestion to you is to create an invigorating list of music on your device of choice and enjoy the ride anytime you need a pick me up. One of my favorites so far is a song I discovered years ago, called Limitless by Sid Sriram It guarantees pure delight and inspiration. :)

BONUS TIP: Combine all three tips:
These three tips can be easily combined to really enhance your confidence. Go for a run and bring music along with you. For the first few minutes build yourself up by telling yourself that you are running to something better. You are leaving the old fears and doubts behind. Then, turn on that encouraging music and experience the shift in your person.

Share with me…what is a song that inspires you and pumps you up? What kind of exercise helps you feel more confident? What words do you tell yourself that help you overcome your past and become more secure? Share below in the comments. I reply to everyone!

Much love,
Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP
Empowerment Personal Coach
Joanne Cipressi is a heart based and passionate coach that is an expert in re-programming thought and emotion patterns for self-esteem, healthy relationships, career success, and vibrant health. She is located in Bucks County (winner of Bucks Best Life Coach) and coaches one-on-one in the entire Philadelphia area, as well as nationally via Skype and Phone. She travels as well. She offers hourly one-on-one sessions, 4 and 8 hour transformational sessions, weekend immersions sessions for dramatic life changes, as well as others programs. Contact her at 267-266-6480 or email her at Joanne@joannecipressi.com to feel great about your life.

 

Letting Go of Accumulating Stuff on Earth Day

Ever since we are born, we seem to be accumulating stuff. We began accumulating toys, clothes, books, pictures, crafts and movies. We witnessed everyone else around us accumulating stuff too — everything from purses to cars, from jewelry to decorations, and from games to tools. It seems like stuff was always a big big part of life.

Buying stuff and seeking new stuff to buy has become a hobby or a habit that many don’t consciously realize they have. Always waiting for the new ads to come out to see what’s on sale. Yearning to replace something for something better — like a smaller TV for a bigger one or an old car for the newest model.

a constant flood of consumer goods can baffle the heart st fraoncisWhenever you watch TV, scroll around social media, or listen to the radio you are faced with a constant barrage of manipulative ads that are trying to encourage you to buy something. They use means that make you feel small, unworthy or unattractive unless you have this product or that one. Even news stations, both radio and TV, report with excitement the newest products that have been recently released.

These is so much emphasis on STUFF that we are actually manipulated to be a part of the accumulating society. We feel the pressure from friends, social media posts, family and even the government.

With all this focus on things every since we have been children, it’s easy to understand why we are in the state we are. It’s become a part of us. When something is a part of us, it is very hard to let go — especially it’s a part of almost every area of who we are. Stuff has become a part of our daily thought process, our emotional state as we become emotionally attached to our stuff, our worth, and so on.

Think about how hard it is to let go of your things. It’s draining! You have to talk yourself into it, deal with your emotions, deal with others not understanding why and then if you do get rid of something you are wanting to replace it with something else.

All of this stuff has been robbing us of so much and we don’t often realize it until its too late — if we even realize it at all.

  • Think of all the time you have to work to buy your stuff. All of that time could have been spent with your family, friends, helping others or doing something else that makes you feel good deep down.
  • Think about all of the money you spent on your stuff. What else could you have done with that?
  • Think about all of the times you used stuff to make you look better, when you really wish that people recognized who you were as a person instead.
  • Think about how stuff is used to make others feel worse than others. “Mine is better than yours” simply divides people instead of bringing them together.
  • Think of all the time you need to take care of your stuff. Cleaning, maintaining, and repairing. This time could be better spent in some way.
  • Think about some of the items you cling too and they bring back miserable memories that make you feel sad or angry.
  • Think of how long you study about a product instead of learning about a new friend.
  • Think about how rich you are making big corporations while you are struggling day to day.
  • Think about how much trash all of this stuff creates.
  • Think about all of the pollution that is caused by all of the stuff that is produced.
  • Think about how much time you spend looking for the person outfit, phone, car, jewelry, or something other item. How much time throughout your life have you spent doing this. This time could have been spent learning, helping, bonding or experiencing something amazing about life.
  • Think about how this stuff does not care about you.
  • Think about how this stuff takes up so much space in your dwelling.
  • Think about this: Would you rather someone admire you because you are excellent at doing something or because you own something really cool? Think about this deep down, not on the surface level.
  • Think about how less you would feel stress.
  • Think about this: All of that stuff you have spent so much time and money on buying — is that the stuff you would want to write a book about to share with your grandchildren one day? Or would you rather share them stories of experiences in your life. Would you want to create a movie showing others your stuff or your experiences?
  • Think about how all of this stuff takes you away from the dreams that you have in your heart.

Of course, stuff is nice and does have a place. There is nothing wrong with having beautiful furniture, nice clothes, great books, pictures, and other items that bring us some joy and comfort. It’s when this stuff takes up too much of our time, focus, emotions, money and other resources that can be spent in better ways that will bring better fulfillment in our lives.

If only we were trained to be more aware of our connections with others instead of desiring more things. Imagine how the quality of our relationships would improve. Imagine how much less tension we would all experience.

Think about your relationship with stuff and be honest with yourself. If it has been and is taking you away from a better life, it’s time for a change. Changes, of course, can be challenging. But you can certainly do it! Sometimes you may need help. So ask a friend, a family member or you can ask me. You can also subscribe to my newsletter for tips that only my newsletter subscribers receive.

It’s time to invest less in stuff and to invest in yourself!!

invest in yourself

 

Enjoy the Freedom of the Present Moment

“The clock is running. Make the most of today. Time waits for no man. Yesterday is history. Tomorrow is a mystery. Today is a gift. That’s why it is called the present.”  

This is a quote often tossed around regarding the present.

It essentially says that today is called the present because it is a gift.

embrace the present moment its a giftThe origins of that quote can be a bit mercurial but it is often attributed to Alice Morse Earle’s poem. It has been changed numerous times and is even featured in a cartoon movie.

Regardless of where this quote originated, the essence of it matters.

Each moment that passes you make an internal, often subconscious, decision regarding your life path.

Problems arise when you do not stop and enjoy the moment.

Each moment is an opportunity to be free and simply live.

It is this moment that counts.

It is this moment that matters.

It is this moment that shapes your eventual destiny.

Enjoy yourself and stop worrying about the things that you cannot change.

Do not worry about who likes you or dislikes you.

You are simply you.

Therefore, you have to be the best YOU possible.

That happens when you let go and free yourself.

Tomorrow will come to many.

And for many that post all of their hopes on tomorrow…it may never arrive.

But everyone has this moment.

When you let the baggage go, stop worrying about tomorrow, and simply living in the moment you are giving yourself a chance to breathe fully and deeply with life.

You are enjoying the tactile sensations of the air on your skin.

You are in the moment with the rush of blood through your veins and the deep silence of just being.

For some it is hard to stop their minds from constantly thinking about what is coming next or what was.

They worry too much about the external problems and forget that the greatest gift of all is the present.

You have a choice each moment that passes.

You can embrace that moment and simply enjoy being.

Or you can spend that moment worrying about something that has already passed or may come to pass in the future.

In choosing to worry, you burden yourself and lose that moment.

So take a deep breath, feel your environment and just smile.

You have as many moments as you need.

Enjoy your freedom of being in the moment! It’s a gift, cherish it and make the most of it!

Your turn:
What do you enjoy most about living in the moment? Do you find it hard to live in the moment? What is most challenging for living in the moment? Do you have any tips that can help people enjoy their freedom of living in the moment? Please share below in the comments.

I am passionate about showing you how to transform their thoughts because I know that your thoughts truly do matter for you to have happiness, success, healthy relationships and a vibrant body. When our thoughts are with the present moment, we make the most of our moments which create amazing tomorrows. For information about training with me to transform your mind and emotions one or one or to conduct an empowering seminar for your group or business call me at 267-266-6480 or send me an email at joannecipressi@gmail.com. If you call, make sure you leave a message and I or my personal assistant will be in contact with you shortly.

Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP
Empowerment Coach, Speaker and Author

5 Ways to Learn From Mistakes

Many people hate making mistakes and even worse they despise admitting they have made a mistake. Making mistakes may seem to be embarrassing, a waste of time, frustrating and bad. But, like with most things in our life, there are also positive sides to making mistakes.

All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from them.Winston Churchill

"I have not failed 1,000 times. I have successfully discovered 1,000 ways to NOT make a light bulb."There is so much to learn from the mistakes we make. Mistakes are opportunities for us to grow and to be closer to our goals. Here are 5 ways we can learn from our mistakes:

  1. Refines Values: Have you ever made a mistake and then felt that you went against what you believe in? This feeling can help you learn more about your values and then give you the motivation to refind them and to make choices to stay true to them. Tip: Take time to evaluate your actions and see how they went against your values. Figure out what you could have done differently to be more aligned with what you believe. 
  2. Learn what does not work: Many mistakes clearly teach us what does not work for a specific situation. You tried something and it failed. Tip: After learning what does not work, make sure. Instead, try something new. 
  3. Improve your problem solving skills: Thomas Edison has made many inventions that solved many of our problems. But, along the way he made mistake after mistake before creating a successful invention. Each of these mistakes he allowed to improve his problem solving skills. Tip: Instead of getting upset over a mistake, brainstorm over how to find a better solution. 
  4. Opportunity to learn or to discover something new: Sometimes being careless and making a mistake can help you discover a new way or something new. I use to take road trips often and if I took a wrong turn by mistake, I would take the opportunity to discover something new. Sometimes adding the wrong ingredient to a recipe can lead to a new dish. Tip: When making a mistake, ponder over what you can discover from this mistake. 
  5. Mistakes sometimes lead to positive outcomes: In addition to life coaching, I also day trade in the morning before seeing clients. As a day trader, sometimes I need to click the buy and sell buttons pretty fast. Once I made the mistake and hit the Buy button instead of Sell button, so I ended up buying double! I was sweating and getting nervous. But, this mistake ended up being positive for me since the stock climbed. I sold for a bigger profit than if I would have not hit the buy button on mistake! Also, check out how this mistake made this 34 year old woman 54 million dollars richer! Tip: When you realize you made a mistake, don’t immediately be annoyed by it. Reflect over it and see if it can actually be a positive mistake. These types of mistakes teach us to not be too hard on ourselves and to be more open. 

There are many lessons that we can learn from making mistakes. After you learn your lessons it is wise to let go.  Yesterday on twitter, I hosted #InspireChat and the topic was Learning from Mistakes. I asked the following questions. Feel free to read over these questions yourself and reflect within. Then share your answers with me in the comment section or on twitter. I would love to read your thoughts. Also, use this article and your reflection to help you better view your future mistakes, because even though we would not like to make them, we know we will.

Q1: What are the differences between learning from a mistake and dwelling on a mistake?

Q2: Is it worse to make mistakes or not make mistakes? Why?

Q3: How can we learn from our mistakes?

Q4: How can mistakes help us to discover who we are?

Q5: How can mistakes teach us to forgive better?

Q6: What can we do to recognize the positive aspects of mistakes?

Q7: What are some tips to overcome the fear of making mistakes?

Learn from your mistakes, let them go and move forward with great wisdom. As a life coach, I have helped hundreds of people learn to make the best of their mistakes and to stop making the same mistakes again and again. If you are making the same relationship mistakes, fitness mistakes, career mistakes, and life mistakes and not learning from your mistakes, reach out to me and I can help guide you so you can move forward with your life.

Much love,
Joanne Cipressi