Blog | Joanne Cipressi

5 Common First Date Fears

Does going on a first date make you nervous? Do you have fears about first dates? You are not alone if you do. Most people do. Here are some of the common first date fears that my clients present to me that you may be able to relate with:

“I am not good looking enough.” First impressions matter, right? We all know that is true. And, well your appearance is the first thing your date sees and judges you by. So, of course you want to be concerned about your looks. But, being overly concerned that it interrupts the enjoyment or makes your look nervous can ensure that there is not a second date. Tip: Learn to accept your looks and how to bring out your best qualities.
“I don’t know what to talk about.” This is one of the biggest concerns that I hear from clients. They ask, “What can I talk about?” or “What should I not talk about?” They worry before they even meet their date about conversations. Tip: I say talk about what you love, about what you are passionate about. This is how you will know if you have similar interests.
“Will he/she like me?” We all desire to be liked especially when on a date. But, worrying about whether you are liked or not will not change the fact that they either will like you or not. In fact, if enter the date with a fear of not being liked, that energy can be felt and it usually does not end up well. Tip: You should be more concerned if you are going to like your date or not. If you are so preoccupied if your date will like you, you may not really get to know your date enough to see if you like them.
“Should I kiss my date?” I have been asked over and over again, “Should I kiss her?” Tip: Don’t even think about this until you decide if you really want to kiss her or not. Then, if you do, if there are clear signs, then kiss. If there are not clear signs, I think it’s best to ask her first.
“What should I wear?” Again, first impressions are important. So, of course you want to make sure you are dressed appropriately. Tip: Wear what makes you feel good, what’s appropriate for the date, make sure it’s ironed, is clean and smells fresh. If you need help with your wardrobe, call me and I can help prepare you.

There are so many other fears that people experience on a first date, a second date and so on! I hope these quick tips help you a little.

As your dating coach, Joanne Cipressi can help you overcome these fears and date with more confidence. If you are a single and looking for love, I can help you prepare for your first date, offer date suggestions, do wardrobe makeovers, do hair/makeup makeovers, share communication tips, overcome fears, work through anxiety, and much, much more! I help singles in the Philadelphia, NYC, and Bucks County areas. If you are in another location, we can set up Skype or Phone sessions. Call me at 267-266-6480 or send me an email at joanne@joannecipressi.com.

#inspirechat

5 Ways to Learn From Mistakes

Many people hate making mistakes and even worse they despise admitting they have made a mistake. Making mistakes may seem to be embarrassing, a waste of time, frustrating and bad. But, like with most things in our life, there are also positive sides to making mistakes.

‘All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from them.’ – Winston Churchill

There is so much to learn from the mistakes we make. Mistakes are opportunities for us to grow and to be closer to our goals. Here are 5 ways we can learn from our mistakes:

Refines Values: Have you ever made a mistake and then felt that you went against what you believe in? This feeling can help you learn more about your values and then give you the motivation to refind them and to make choices to stay true to them. Tip: Take time to evaluate your actions and see how they went against your values. Figure out what you could have done differently to be more aligned with what you believe.
Learn what does not work: Many mistakes clearly teach us what does not work for a specific situation. You tried something and it failed. Tip: After learning what does not work, make sure. Instead, try something new.
Improve your problem solving skills: Thomas Edison has made many inventions that solved many of our problems. But, along the way he made mistake after mistake before creating a successful invention. Each of these mistakes he allowed to improve his problem solving skills. Tip: Instead of getting upset over a mistake, brainstorm over how to find a better solution.
Opportunity to learn or to discover something new: Sometimes being careless and making a mistake can help you discover a new way or something new. I use to take road trips often and if I took a wrong turn by mistake, I would take the opportunity to discover something new. Sometimes adding the wrong ingredient to a recipe can lead to a new dish. Tip: When making a mistake, ponder over what you can discover from this mistake.
Mistakes sometimes lead to positive outcomes: In addition to life coaching, I also day trade in the morning before seeing clients. As a day trader, sometimes I need to click the buy and sell buttons pretty fast. Once I made the mistake and hit the Buy button instead of Sell button, so I ended up buying double! I was sweating and getting nervous. But, this mistake ended up being positive for me since the stock climbed. I sold for a bigger profit than if I would have not hit the buy button on mistake! Also, check out how this mistake made this 34 year old woman 54 million dollars richer! Tip: When you realize you made a mistake, don’t immediately be annoyed by it. Reflect over it and see if it can actually be a positive mistake. These types of mistakes teach us to not be too hard on ourselves and to be more open.

There are many lessons that we can learn from making mistakes. After you learn your lessons it is wise to let go. Yesterday on twitter, I hosted #InspireChat and the topic was Learning from Mistakes. I asked the following questions. Feel free to read over these questions yourself and reflect within. Then share your answers with me in the comment section or on twitter. I would love to read your thoughts. Also, use this article and your reflection to help you better view your future mistakes, because even though we would not like to make them, we know we will.

Q1: What are the differences between learning from a mistake and dwelling on a mistake? #inspirechat

Q2: Is it worse to make mistakes or not make mistakes? Why? #inspirechat

Q3: How can we learn from our mistakes? #inspirechat

Q4: How can mistakes help us to discover who we are? #inspirechat

Q5: How can mistakes teach us to forgive better? #inspirechat

Q6: What can we do to recognize the positive aspects of mistakes? #inspirechat

Q7: What are some tips to overcome the fear of making mistakes? #inspirechat

Learn from your mistakes, let them go and move forward with great wisdom. As a life coach, I have helped hundreds of people learn to make the best of their mistakes and to stop making the same mistakes again and again. If you are making the same relationship mistakes, fitness mistakes, career mistakes, and life mistakes and not learning from your mistakes, reach out to me and I can help guide you so you can move forward with your life.

Much love,
Joanne Cipressi

#inspirechat

Building Self-Confidence is the #InspireChat Topic for April 4th

We all have dreams and goals. To achieve these dreams and goals, we need to set intentions. Without self-confidence it is challenging to move forward with these intentions. But, self-confidence can turn intentions into outcomes.

Self-confidence affects every area of your life. If affects your relationships, your career, your health, you emotional well-being and others areas. Having self-confidence is so important to the quality of your life and to achieving many of your dreams and goals, that I have chosen this to the first topic for the return #InspireChat on April 4th at 12:00 pmEST.

Here are the questions so you can prepare for the chat:

Q1: What does self-confidence mean to you? #inspirechat

Q2: In what ways does self-confidence improve the quality of life? #inspirechat

Q3: What undermines self-confidence? #inspirechat

Q4: How can one recognize that one has low self-confidence? #inspirechat

Q5: What are some thought patterns that build self-confidence? #inspirechat

Q6: What can we do to implement new thought patterns to build self-confidence? #inspirechat

Q7: How can someone feel confident even when others are belittling them? #inspirechat

Q8: What can you do to be more confident this week? #inspirechat

What is #InspireChat? #InspireChat is a weekly inspirational chat that was started by Joanne Cipressi on August 25th, 2011. Joanne Cipressi has been a life coach for over 18 years helping people retrain the way they think and feel in order to improve the quality of their life. #InspireChat is one way that Joanne loves bringing people together to inspire each other with hopes that they will blossom and become more successful in their lives. After a pause in the chat, Joanne is bringing it back on April 4th once again. So, please feel free to join in and share with your friends. Here is an example #InspireChat from the past: Embracing Yourself

I look forward to chatting with you during #InspireChat. If you can not make it, feel free to share your thoughts on these questions below.

Much love,
Joanne Cipressi

Letting Go

How to Overcome the Pain of the Past

We have all been let down in many ways throughout our lives. We have all been betrayed, lied to and hurt in some other manner by another person. Actually, this has happened several times to all of us – in our personal lives and in the workplace. In fact, we have even taken actions or spoken words ourselves that have hurt others and have even caused disappointment to our own selves. We ALL have!

Some people have the ability to move past these let downs, realize the lessons learned, and grow from them very quickly. They barely give the experiences a second thought. Those are the people that usually adapt better in life and advance faster toward attaining their dreams. But, what if you are not that type of person? What if you are still holding onto an experience or experiences that were painful? Are you replaying past disappointing situations over and over again in your mind and reliving the frustration, the hurt and all of those other emotions again and again? If you are, you must know that you are robbing yourself from greater success in life. You are preventing yourself from enjoying your current moments and from fully becoming the person you desire and need to be for your goals.

If you desire to have incredible, healthy and loving relationships in your life, but if you are holding onto the pain of past relationships you may find that maintaining healthy relationships is a struggle for you. Same is true for career advancement. If you are walking around feeling bitter about not getting a promotion, because you are not making enough money, because you lost a big deal or for any other reason, it is more difficult to move forward for a better future.

If holding onto the pain of the past is not healthy for your life, why do so many people do so? Some people don’t want to let go of past pains. If you are one of them, then you might want to read my last article, I wrote about why you should let go of the pain of the past. However, if you are a person that is ready to let go of your past pains but have a hard time letting go, then continue reading to learn of a few ways that may help you release the pain of the past:

Realize that you can change. When you believe you can change the way you think and feel, you are better able to allow new thought patterns.
Know that you are not your past. The past does not define who you are at this moment, unless you allow it to. You have the free will to be different than your past and to think differently.
Look at the opportunities that are available in your present moment. Become more aware of what is happening around you now. There are so many opportunities around you that you can take advantage of and become a better person from.
Refocus on something else that is more fulfilling. It may be challenging at first, but keep refocusing of what benefits your life and it will become easier over time.
Learn from the past experiences. Ask yourself what you can learn from these hurtful situations. How can you move forward in your life with these lessons and without repeating the same mistakes?
Remind yourself that you deserve happiness and a more content mind. We all deserve happiness and that includes you!
Reflect on what some of your dreams and hopes were. Before you were hurt, you had dreams and hopes. What were they. Bring them to the front of your focus again. Perhaps they have changed? That is okay. Bring those revised dreams and hopes forward.
Take back your power. When you are focused on and resenting what someone else did to you, you are giving your power away. Take back your power and take control of your life.
Ask yourself how else can you remember this past experience? Discover different ways you can think and feel about hurtful experiences. There is more than one way to see any situation.
Build up your self-confidence. When you are confident in yourself, you no longer will have the strong pull to hang onto the past. You will want to think and behave in ways that improve the quality of your life. Need help with building your self-confidence? Join #InspireChat on twitter on April 4th at 12pmEST and listen to my new Your Thoughts Matter podcast this week of April 4th. The whole week is devoted to self-confidence.

Holding onto the pain of past can disrupt your current relationships, your enjoyment of life and can halt the progress of your future. It is time to stop this pattern and reclaim yourself, take back your power and begin living the life that you deserve. Let go of the past. These 10 tips can help if you reflect and apply them. If your past hurt was from a friend, a lover, a business partner, a colleague, a stranger, or a family member, these tips can be applied. If you have trouble doing so on your own and you need coaching, I will be happy to guide you. Simply reach out to me and we can schedule a time. You deserve an investment in yourself to let go and move on.

Also, make sure you sign up for my Your Thoughts Matter Newsletter to receive tips and more to your mailbox.

Much love,
Joanne Cipressi

5 Common First Date Fears

5 Ways to Learn From Mistakes

Building Self-Confidence is the #InspireChat Topic for April 4th

How to Overcome the Pain of the Past

If you are ready for a real transformation then Makeover Your Mind to Makeover Your Life