Blog | Joanne Cipressi

Why Should You Let Go of the Pain of…

Spring is time for renewal and as with any renewal process, there is a need to clean up and let go of clutter and those things that are impeding growth. Mental clutter is just as important to let go as is physical clutter. One form of mental clutter is holding onto to past hurts. Whether this pain was caused by you or another person, holding onto to past pain stifles you from moving forward in your life.

Sometimes people find comfort in holding on because its familiar or they feel that holding on can protect them from future pain so they keep these memories alive. People come up with many reasons to justify why they keep replaying the pain of the past. Whatever their reasons may, the fact is that these excuses and this replaying the pain of the past keeps them from moving forward in their life. Sometimes people need to ponder of reasons why they should let go of their past hurt to motivate them to move on.

If you find you are holding onto the pain of something that happened in the past and revisiting those memories over and over again, please consider letting go of the pain and moving forward to a more enjoyable life. If you need some motivation to let go of your past hurts, I created this list of reasons to let go. Truly reflect within as you read.

1. You will experience more happiness and joy. When your mind is replaying the pain of the past, there is less chance to recognize what is available in the present moment.Your mind can only focus on one thought at any given moment. Therefore, if you are spending your moments reflecting on a past pain, during those moments you can not possibly feel joy. But, when you let go, you leave more room in your life to experience more happiness, joy and love.

2. You can better realize your hopes and dream. We all have hopes and dreams. It is one of the wonderful things about being human that I enjoy. But, when we are living in past regrets or resentments, these hopes and dreams fade away in the background. Once in a while they may peek out, but when you allow the past pain to replay over and over again these dreams fade again. So, let go and allow your hopes and dreams to come to the front of your mind again.

3. You can give people reasons to admire you and to be inspired by you instead of pitying you. There are many other people who are holding onto their past pains as well. When you are able to move past a hurtful memory and grow from it, people can admire you and even be inspired by you. Isn’t this better than being pitied?

4.Your relationships will improve. When your mind if you living in the past, this affects your present emotions and actions. When you are feeling out of balance and in an angry or sad state due to a past experience, you are not being fair to those in your current life. When you let go of past hurts, you give the opportunity for present relationships to thrive and to be more fruitful because you are finally being present in them.

5. Your deserve to be nice to yourself. By holding onto past hurts and reliving them in your mind, you are not being very nice to yourself. You have the power to be kind to yourself or to be unkind. Why choose to be unkind by allowing yourself to feel the pain of something that happened so long ago? Choose to be loving and kind to yourself and let go.

6. You will have more time. Replaying the pain of the past takes up a lot of time! These memories can make you mad, sad, and frustrated which can take time away from the things that you can be doing to better your life. Release these past memories and have more time!

7. You can take ownership of your future. When you are resenting what others have done in the past and blaming them for your current situation and current emotions, you are giving up your personal power. You are still allowing this other person to have power. When you let go, you can take ownership for your life and can move forward improving it.

8. You can experience more freedom. Holding onto the past is like putting yourself in a box or a prison cell. You are confined by these walls and your rob yourself from freedom. When you let you go, you break down the walls and can experience more in life – you will have more freedom.

9. You can stop suffering. Suffering can not hold onto you – you must hold onto suffering. By reliving the past and feeling the pain over and over again, you are allowing yourself to suffer. Stop inviting this into your soul and make up your mind to finally stop suffering. You can replace suffering with something much more enjoyable like love, hope, being brave and laughter.

10. You can give yourself another chance. By holding onto the past, you are prohibiting yourself from having another chance at love, happiness, joy or whatever you have been hiding away from. You may believe you are protecting yourself from future pain. But, you are already in pain because of your constant replaying. But, instead you can always have another friendship, another love, another career, but you only have one you. You deserve to give yourself another chance at what you want. The only way is to let go and be brave enough to give yourself another chance. So, please allow yourself to let go.

My hope is that these reasons give you some motivation to let go of past hurts. Whether these hurts were caused by parents, lovers, co-workers, friends, strangers or even yourself, you can learn to let go of the pain. Make sure you come back and read my next article that will offer tips on how to let go. Sometimes you may need extra help and guidance because you don’t know how to do it on your own. As a life coach, I have been helping people, for 20 years, to heal their past hurts, learn to let go, and show them how to be brave and to move forward with their hopes and dreams. Reach out to me and we can partner together so you can finally be free. My contact info is on the side bar.

Also, please follow me on SoundCloud as I am starting a new Podcast, on April 4th, called Your Thoughts Matter. Your Thoughts Matter will focus on how your thoughts influence your feelings, actions, relationships and the rest of life. There will also be tips and suggestion on how to improve your thought patterns to improve the quality of your life.

Make sure you sign up for the Your Thoughts Matter newsletter below so as to not miss a single article nor podcast, and to receive extra special coaching tips!

Inner Peace

Thich Nhat Hanh Quotes to Reflect On for Relationships

When I was in my early 20’s, I had the pleasure to see Thich Nhat Hanh at the Omega Institute in Rhineback, NY. His energy and love were powerfully apparent. I could feel his desire for a more peaceful world which is something that I resonate with.

Below are some of my favorite thoughts from Thich Nhat Hanh. Enjoy these quotes and reflect on the relationships in your life when you read them. I believe that healthy and happy relationships are one of the main

“Through my love for you, I want to express my love for the whole cosmos, the whole of humanity, and all beings. By living with you, I want to learn to love everyone and all species. If I succeed in loving you, I will be able to love everyone and all species on Earth… This is the real message of love.”
“When another person makes you suffer, it is because he suffers deeply within himself, and his suffering is spilling over. He does not need punishment; he needs help. That’s the message he is sending.”
“When you plant lettuce, if it does not grow well, you don’t blame the lettuce. You look for reasons it is not doing well. It may need fertilizer, or more water, or less sun. You never blame the lettuce. Yet if we have problems with our friends or family, we blame the other person. But if we know how to take care of them, they will grow well, like the lettuce. Blaming has no positive effect at all, nor does trying to persuade using reason and argument. That is my experience. No blame, no reasoning, no argument, just understanding. If you understand, and you show that you understand, you can love, and the situation will change.”
“We really have to understand the person we want to love. If our love is only a will to possess, it is not love. If we only think of ourselves, if we know only our own needs and ignore the needs of the other person, we cannot love.”
“People have a hard time letting go of their suffering. Out of a fear of the unknown, they prefer suffering that is familiar.”
“When we are mindful, deeply in touch with the present moment, our understanding of what is going on deepens, and we begin to be filled with acceptance, joy, peace and love.”
“The seed of suffering in you may be strong, but don’t wait until you have no more suffering before allowing yourself to be happy.”
“People deal too much with the negative, with what is wrong. Why not try and see positive things, to just touch those things and make them bloom?”
“When you say something really unkind, when you do something in retaliation your anger increases. You make the other person suffer, and he will try hard to say or to do something back to get relief from his suffering. That is how conflict escalates.”
“The source of love is deep in us and we can help others realize a lot of happiness. One word, one action, one thought can reduce another person’s suffering and bring that person joy.”

Much love and peace to your relationships,

Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP
Empowerment Personal Coach/Speaker

Helping couples or individuals mend their relationships by teaching communication skills is one of the most rewarding parts of being a coach. If you need some help and guidance in improving the quality of your relationship, reach out to me. I also offer individual and couples coaching, as well as Rekindle Your Romance Retreats for couples teaching them how to turn toxic patterns into healthy patterns which includes communication tips. Call (267-266-6480) or email me for more information. (Joanne@JoanneCipressi.com)

Inner Peace

Experience More Peace in Your Life

Today is my birthday and I am honored to have lived another year on this Earth. I feel that life is such an incredible gift that we are sharing together here and I truly do cherish this gift.

However, I did not always cherish life – instead I dreaded it. Those days were not peaceful at all. Thankfully I learned how to appreciate life and now experience peace at a levels higher than I ever even dreamed of. My birthday wish is that everyone would experience this peace as well!

Every since I was a little kid, I wished that people would experience more peace and this desire is stronger today. I believe this will make for a kinder world with more successful and happier people. So, to go along with my birthday wish, I would like to give you a little birthday gift – a message that I hope would allow you to experience more peace in your life.

One of the most important things that I like to teach my clients is how to experience more peace in their life. Whether a person comes to me for life coaching for business, coaching for dating, rekindling romance, coaching for overcoming fears, anger or addiction, coaching for weight loss or anything else, the one thing everyone experiences more of is peace. Peace, I have seen is one of the important keys to achieving a person’s goals.

It can be very obvious that we live in a world that experiences much discord and disharmony. Whenever we turn on the news, scroll through our Facebook or twitter walls we are reminded of how unsettling the world can be. Sometimes our personal lives present situations that are make feeling peaceful challenging. So, how can you feel more peaceful when there is chaotic and stressful situation surrounding you?

Peace begins with you. When you are at peace with yourself, it is much easier to feel peaceable in situations that may be stressful or discontenting. Here are some ways to allow peace to begin with you:

Let go of the past: When you are holding onto past resentments or regrets, it can be difficult to feel peaceful within. So learn to let go and move forward. Suggestion: Forgive others, as well as yourself.
Release fear of the future: Being worried about what the future holds depletes peaceful feelings. Whether you are worried about a specific event, situation or a general concern about financial security. Solution: Instead of being worried, hope and plan.
Eat a balanced healthy diet: When you are ingesting healthy food, you naturally feel better. The nutrients feed your cells and our organs operate better. When your body is healthy, it is easier to feel more at peace as you know you are taking care of your body and will have a lesser chance of becoming sick. Suggestion: Review your diet for a week and see where you can make small changes to begin with. Perhaps, replace junk food snacks with fruit, veggies or yogurt.
Stop judging other people: When we look at others and put them down, we automatically let go of our peace. We enter a place of bitterness which releases acid and tension into our body. Suggestion: When we open our hearts and care about others with compassion and hope instead of judging them, peace lives within us.
Quiet the noise: When we are constantly bombarded with noise and what is happening outside ourselves, we tend to get stressed. Some people can handle more noise than others – it depends on your upbringing, training and personality. But, we need some time in the quiet. What amount of time depends on your needs for centering and reconnecting with yourself. Suggestion: Make some time in the morning before you start your day and some time at the end of the day to be quiet with yourself. Even 5 minutes helps.
Value your relationship with yourself: Sometimes we can be busy trying to impress others and pleasing other that we neglect who we are at the core and what matters to us. When we do this, we end up not feeling very peaceable within. Suggestion: Take time to be quiet with yourself and to listen to your thoughts. Make sure you are being true to you.

Developing peace within yourself is one of the best gifts you can ever give yourself. It will allow you to enjoy life on a level greater than you ever experienced before. Your relationships will improve, your health will be better, and your journey will be more enjoyable. Practice these 6 tips and sign up for my newsletter to receive weekly tips that will help you experience more inner peace by retraining the way you think and feel.

As a life coach, one of the things that I help people learn is to experience more peace in their life. I would be happy to help you as well. With 20 years experience, I have worked with people of all types and journeys. This is my passion and what I love to do. I put my whole heart into it. To set up a session, please fill out the form below or call me directly at 267-266-6480.

Why Should You Let Go of the Pain of…

Thich Nhat Hanh Quotes to Reflect On for Relationships

Experience More Peace in Your Life

If you are ready for a real transformation then Makeover Your Mind to Makeover Your Life