People who know me see me as being very sociable, confident and friendly. I am — now. However, I was not always this way.
When I was in my teens and early 20’s, I had terrible social anxiety when it came to certain events. For example, I would agree to go to parties or events with friends and I really wanted to go and looked forward to it — until about an hour or two before the party — especially if everything was not just right!
At that time, I began to panic and my mind turned on me. I began to overanalyze and fear set in. I began to pick myself apart and imagined every reason why no one would want to talk with me. So, I often called my friends and cancelled. It was a horrible place to be and if you experience any type of social anxiety whether its with dating, networking events, work events, business meetings, or fun parties, I feel for you — because I have personally been there. Here are some tips that have helped me and you may benefit from these tips so you can feel confident at social events.
These tips that I offer today are not common suggestions for helping people build their confidence when meeting new people, but they worked for myself and many of my clients. I am going to offer only three tips-one for each the mind, body and emotions. When these three areas of yourself are aligned with one another, you have a better chance at being successful at whatever it is that you do – whether it is for your business or personal life.
1. Body: Exercise
Regular exercise improves your energy levels and produces happy and confident releasing chemicals like testosterone and endorphins. I refer to exercise as a cheat-cheat for feeling confident as these chemicals are very powerful.
I suggest to go for a run, fast walk, jump rope, jump on a trampoline, or some other enjoyable aerobic exercise before you get ready to go to your event and experience the results. ALSO, as an added bonus, exercise gets you in shape which helps you look better and gives you another reason to be confident.
2. Mind: Realize Your Past is in the Past
This is very important! Whatever has caused you to lose your confidence is in the past — it’s done and over with. By you allowing this situation or other situations to affect you, you are essentially still giving power to your past — which is over with.
Just because you were not confident and felt insecure when meeting new people for the last ten years, the last year, and even yesterday does not mean that you have to continue to feel that way. You can choose to change and to learn to be more confident.
Just because you were fearful in the past, does not mean you have to remain fearful. You can change. You can be powerful like that!
So my suggestion is to allow yourself to be a new person (or actually, the “real confident you” that was lost). Talk with yourself in a positive way and give yourself permission to be in the moment and to let the past go. You do have the power to let the old you go and become who you want to be.
3. Emotions: Listen to some upbeat, inspiring and happy music.
Often, before I go out or while driving to an event, I LOVE to stimulate my emotions by some uplifting music. Music has a special way of touching you in a way that nothing else can.
My suggestion to you is to create an invigorating list of music on your device of choice and enjoy the ride anytime you need a pick me up. One of my favorites so far is a song I discovered years ago, called Limitless by Sid Sriram It guarantees pure delight and inspiration.
BONUS TIP: Combine all three tips:
These three tips can be easily combined to really enhance your confidence. Go for a run and bring music along with you. For the first few minutes build yourself up by telling yourself that you are running to something better. You are leaving the old fears and doubts behind. Then, turn on that encouraging music and experience the shift in your person.
Share with me…what is a song that inspires you and pumps you up? What kind of exercise helps you feel more confident? What words do you tell yourself that help you overcome your past and become more secure? Share below in the comments. I reply to everyone!
Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP
Empowerment Personal Coach
Joanne Cipressi is a heart based and passionate coach that is an expert in re-programming thought and emotion patterns for self-esteem, healthy relationships, career success, and vibrant health. She is located in Bucks County (winner of Bucks Best Life Coach) and coaches one-on-one in the entire Philadelphia area, as well as nationally via Skype and Phone. She travels as well. She offers hourly one-on-one sessions, 4 and 8 hour transformational sessions, weekend immersions sessions for dramatic life changes, as well as others programs. Contact her at 267-266-6480 or email her at Joanne@joannecipressi.com to feel great about your life.