You spend the majority amount of your time at work, so building bonds with the people you work with is natural and normal. Many people build friendships with their co-workers since they learn so much about each other while working on projects, sharing coffee, and perhaps even lunches.
But, what if you see that you may have a crush on a co-worker? Crushes happen and usually without you realizing it. One day you are enjoying each other’s company innocently, sharing lunches, quick break together, and perhaps after work outings, then all of sudden you begin to think about spending more time with them – time alone, how do they kiss, what a good partner they would be, wishing they were single and you were too….and then perhaps dreaming about having a fling. This can cause a PR disaster or cause havoc at work!! Not to mention, it can cause problems with your own emotional state, your thoughts and your work, as well as cause issues with their partner and yours. Having a coworker crush rarely leads to anywhere healthy.
So, how can you tell early on if you are developing a coworker crush? Here are some signs:
- You desire to spend more alone time together. You don’t simply want a break from the crazy work life, but you think about the next time you can have coffee or tea with this person, the next chance you can get alone to talk a walk with them, and dream about having dinner and drinks alone with them and no one else.
- If you are single, you won’t date anyone else because there is no one better than your coworker and you hope he will notice you that way.
- You try to impress him or her with stories about your life and yourself.
- You keep checking your messages to see if they returned yours.
- You begin to dress up more for work and walk by him or her to be sure you are noticed.
- You find reasons to schedule one on one meetings with them. Even worse, you find ways to organize business trips or “outing” with just them.
- You miss them when you are not at work or are sad when they are not at work.
- You feel jealous or upset when they talk about their partner.
- You wont talk about your partner with them.
- You organize a happy hour just to hang out with them.
- You have not told you partner about him or her.
- You find yourself daydreaming about him or her.
- You talk about him or her to your friends – often.
- When you are on vacation from work, you are thinking about him and think about messaging him more than anyone else.
- You find yourself checking out their partner on social media.
- You avoid being around whenever their partner is around or you act differently when their partner is around.
- You try to find ways to do more intimate things together, like exercise, run, cook together, movies, or other things that normally couples do.
- You want to closer to him when walking and even desire to hold hands.
- You sometimes feel nervous around him or her. Your stomach has butterflies when you see them.
- You check out his body all the time.
Do you see these signs in yourself? Having one or two may not mean that you have a crush, but I would find it safe that if you are hear reading this article, then you have a crush on your coworker. What do you do now? That depends.
Are you both single? Or is one in a relationship? Does the coworker return the feelings? What are you relationship rules of your company? There are many factors. But, to be blunt, if either of you are in a relationship or the rules of the business prohibit dating, then your best bet is to stay away from this person. Distance yourself. Become more involved in your relationship or begin dating again.
Also realize one more thing, you are crushing on someone that you think you know. What people portray to be at work and in work friendships are not who they will be when dating or when having a fling with. Trust me, it will all get messy if you move forward with your crush. Your emotions and mental state will be a disaster!
If you need help in overcoming your feelings and moving into a healthy relationship or rekindling the one you are in, I can help you with this. Reach out! My contact information is on the side.