How to Overcome the Pain of the Past

We have all been let down in many ways throughout our lives. We have all been betrayed, lied to and hurt in some other manner by another person. Actually, this has happened several times to all of us – in our personal lives and in the workplace. In fact, we have even taken actions or spoken words ourselves that have hurt others and have even caused disappointment to our own selves.  We ALL have!

Some people have the ability to move past these let downs, realize the lessons learned, and grow from them very quickly. They barely give the experiences a second thought. Those are the people that usually adapt better in life and advance faster toward attaining their dreams. But, what if you are not that type of person? What if you are still holding onto an experience or experiences that were painful? Are you replaying past disappointing situations over and over again in your mind and reliving the frustration, the hurt and all of those other emotions again and again? If you are, you must know that you are robbing yourself from greater success in life. You are preventing yourself from enjoying your current moments and from fully becoming the person you desire and need to be for your goals.

If you desire to have incredible, healthy and loving relationships in your life, but if you are holding onto the pain of past relationships you may find that maintaining healthy relationships is a struggle for you. Same is true for career advancement. If you are walking around feeling bitter about not getting a promotion, because you are not making enough money, because you lost a big deal or for any other reason, it is more difficult to move forward for a better future.

If holding onto the pain of the past is not healthy for your life, why do so many people do so? Some people don’t want to let go of past pains. If you are one of them, then you might want to read my last article, I wrote about why you should let go of the pain of the past. However, if you are a person that is ready to let go of your past pains but have a hard time letting go, then continue reading to learn of a few ways that may help you release the pain of the past:

1. Realize that you can change. When you believe you can change the way you think and feel, you are better able to allow new thought patterns.
2. Know that you are not your past. The past does not define who you are at this moment, unless you allow it to. You have the free will to be different than your past and to think differently.
3. Look at the opportunities that are available in your present moment. Become more aware of what is happening around you now. There are so many opportunities around you that you can take advantage of and become a better person from.
4. Refocus on something else that is more fulfilling. It may be challenging at first, but keep refocusing of what benefits your life and it will become easier over time.
5. Learn from the past experiences. Ask yourself what you can learn from these hurtful situations. How can you move forward in your life with these lessons and without repeating the same mistakes?
6. Remind yourself that you deserve happiness and a more content mind. We all deserve happiness and that includes you!
7. Reflect on what some of your dreams and hopes were. Before you were hurt, you had dreams and hopes. What were they. Bring them to the front of your focus again. Perhaps they have changed? That is okay. Bring those revised dreams and hopes forward.
8. Take back your power. When you are focused on and resenting what someone else did to you, you are giving your power away. Take back your power and take control of your life.
9. Ask yourself how else can you remember this past experience? Discover different ways you can think and feel about hurtful experiences. There is more than one way to see any situation.
10. Build up your self-confidence. When you are confident in yourself, you no longer will have the strong pull to hang onto the past.  You will want to think and behave in ways that improve the quality of your life. Need help with building your self-confidence?  Join #InspireChat on twitter on April 4th at 12pmEST and listen to my new Your Thoughts Matter podcast this week of April 4th. The whole week is devoted to self-confidence.

Holding onto the pain of past can disrupt your current relationships, your enjoyment of life and can halt the progress of your future. It is time to stop this pattern and reclaim yourself, take back your power and begin living the life that you deserve. Let go of the past. These 10 tips can help if you reflect and apply them. If your past hurt was from a friend, a lover, a business partner, a colleague, a stranger, or a family member, these tips can be applied. If you have trouble doing so on your own and you need coaching, I will be happy to guide you. Simply reach out to me and we can schedule a time. You deserve an investment in yourself to let go and move on.

Also, make sure you sign up for my Your Thoughts Matter Newsletter to receive tips and more to your mailbox.

Much love,
Joanne Cipressi