When I was 13 years old, my mother gave me away to the foster care system. I moved to a new home every 3 to 6 months. Most of the families never seemed to care. I basically lived out of my suitcase, because I knew I would not be at any home for a long time. I stayed in the system until I was 18 years old, while my mother, my three brothers and one sister lived at home with the man that molested me for years. After, I was 18 years old, I was sent out into the world all by myself without anyone at all.
I was truly abandoned and I still am. My mother is still married to this man and we still do not have a relationship at all. In fact, I tried for 20 years to have a relationship with her. After 20 years of abandonment , I decided to give up. A few years ago, I saw her at a wedding and she told me that I should have allowed someone else to adopt me. She made it very clear that she still had no interest in having a relationship with me.
I have learned to forgive her and my family for their choices, but there are some realities that will never go away. Here are some examples:
- Every holiday and every special occasion is spent without sharing it with family.
- I have two daughters and they have no relationship with my family.
- When I meet a boyfriend, I have no one to introduce him to.
- If I needed help, I have no family to turn to.
- Having no family to call to share good news with.
- Having no mother to talk to mommyhood about.
- Having no grandmother for my daughters to bond with.
I share this with you, because I want you to know that I understand what it is like to be abandoned. I have worked through the pain, the anger, the depression, the loneliness, the low self-esteem and the other experiences that stem from abandonment.
Then, I had to test all of my work, because I was abandoned again by my husband. After being married for 5 years, and being a stay at home wife and mother, he suddenly left one day while I was out of town with our daughters. Fortunately, the work to overcome and to heal from this abandonment took less effort and less time because I already knew how to overcome and heal from it.
Healing from abandonment takes time. These are true deep rooted feelings and thoughts of pain, sadness and anger. These emotions are real. These thoughts are real. I can help guide you through this journey with understanding, compassion and experience.
Even after healing from the pain of abandonment, learning how to live with abandonment still is challenging. I can help show you new ways to live and how to cope and thrive.
Having someone that can truly relate with your experience, is helping in healing. Having someone to talk to, to vent to, and to understand helps so you don’t feel so alone. Having someone that has been there and has learned to survive and thrive, can help motivate you and show you how you can move forward in your life.
When you are ready to start your journey of healing, moving forward in your life, and learning to live a life you are proud of, contact me. I will be honored to partner with you. Please schedule a 15 minute call to connect or to ask any questions you may have. You fill out this form below as well: