Human connection. We are connecting to people all the time. Yet, many feel lonely. You can walk down the street, smile at everyone and have everyone smile back at you. You can go to work and have everyone smile at you. You can go on Facebook and see that your last post of your selfie or inspirational quote received over 100 likes. You can receive compliments on your outfit and new hair style. You can go out and grab drinks with co-workers. You can chat with people online or offline all day long. Yet, you may still be lonely. Why?
In my clients, in myself and even in children, I have observed the following:
~ Loneliness creeps in when the people around you do not truly know who you are. They are unaware of your aspirations, your issues, your pains, your motivations, and the other things that make up who you are.
~ Loneliness creeps in when you do not feel cared for, nor appreciated, nor understood for who you are and what you are doing.
~ Loneliness creeps in when you separate your work life from your personal life.
~ Loneliness creeps in when all of your relationships are only surface and there is no deep connection.
~ Loneliness creeps when you are afraid of and/or avoid your own thoughts and need constant distractions.
~ Loneliness deepens in when people are rude, inconsiderate, and selfish.
~ Loneliness deepens when people in the workplace ignore or avoid you.
There are many factors that can contribute to loneliness. But, the main 2 factors to loneliness is no true connection with another person and to yourself. But if…
~ You have a close family at home or
~ You have a great group of loyal and personal friends or
~ You have one special friend that you know deeply or
~ You have a partner that you can open up to and be yourself
~ AND you have hope and feel confident in yourself,
~ AND you have a mind you feel comfortable interacting with,
~ AND you genuinely care about others…
…then you most likely would not feel lonely at work.
It’s when you lack ANY close bond with ANYone in your entire life that loneliness creeps in. You see confident people who have that one close person that they can talk to about anything and vice versa — are they usually lonely — even at work when surrounded by people they are not friends with? Usually not.
So, connect deeply with yourself. Connect deeply with someone else. Be true to you. Find those that accept you. Care. Love. Hope. Connect.
If social anxiety is causing you to remain lonely, try this article: 3 Ways to Overcome Social Anxiety.
This article stemmed from the Harvard Business Review article Loneliness in the Workplace and written from my personal experience and from learning from my clients throughout the past 19 years. Of course, there are exceptions and each person has their own story. This short article can not possible cover every reason nor solution. But, be open to what I wrote and you will see that there is much truth here. Be open and you can find solutions, hope and hopefully motivation to shift away from loneliness.