And he is so proud of himself!
He goes on to say that the hamper is empty and every dirty piece of clothing is now clean…with a big smile on his face…and you LOVE his smile.
AND, he also did the separation of colors correctly and nothing shrank!
You feel a sense of relief because that is one less chore you need to finish! YAY!
Maybe now, you can take a bubble bath, or read the James Patterson book that you bought 6 months ago!
Your man goes on to say, “I don’t know what the big deal with doing laundry is. It was so easy to do and hardly took up any time!”
Your man proudly points, “See its all done!”
This is a story that was shared to me by one of my clients last month. Since then, I have heard similar stories regarding laundry this from several other women who have experienced almost the same exact situation.
One woman, stated, “I came home and he was sitting in his reading chair and there was a HUGE mound of clothes on the sofa! When I asked him what it was, he said, with a big smile on his face, that he did all the laundry.”
Another woman shared, “I asked my husband if he would help out by doing the laundry while I went shopping for our vacation. I came home and he was watching the Phillies and proudly told me it was all done. BUT, the clean clothes were in bins in our laundry room-not folded.”
One wife stated, “He only folded his clothes saying that the kids clothes are too small and complicated.”
Women, has this ever happened to you? And, men, have you ever done this?
I was amazed that I heard similar stories, from 6 different clients, in about a month’s time. So, did further research and asked a few friends, both men and women, about this. I also did some research online. The conclusion was that this is common. So, of course, I had to blog about it because it seems like an important issue to many women.
The reaction of each of the men, while their women were sharing their stories with me, were little innocent smirks on their faces. When we dug deeper to figure out why this was happening, here are some of the responses I received:
“I really thought she just wanted to me to clean it all. Not fold it too.”
“I never folded clothes and have no idea what to do.”
“I thought I was helping.”
Many of the men I spoke to stated that they never had to do laundry. Their mothers’ did it for them. Then, after leaving home, some paid a professional cleaner, while others simply let it stay in the dryer until needed.
When I was in my early 20’s I dated a man that lived with his grandmother and she washed, dried, and even ironed his clothes…including his underwear! She said, “Men don’t do laundry.” Hence, this man never ever knew how to turn on the washer. At least, many of these other men did.
I am not trying to pick on men here. Not at all. (I personally leave clean clothes in baskets at times due to having an overfilled schedule.) In fact, there are over 5 MILLION searches for “How to laundry” on Google every month.
All the men I spoke with love their partners and are very caring men. It seemed to be the bottom line was that these men simply did not think about folding the clothes, nor do they know how to.
Here is a great starting point at MarthaStuart.com. How to fold a T-Shirt
But, this really comes down to more than just laundry. A common complaint I hear from women is that their men don’t help out enough around the house. And the most two common complaints I hear from men is that their women don’t seem to appreciate them and their women are not as interested in sex as they are.
Here are some suggestions that have helped my clients:
- Be nurturing and loving in how you ask. For example, “Babe, I would really appreciate it if you could help me with this…” or “Honey, I know you are busy, but when you have a moment would you mind…”
- Be clear and direct when you are asking for help from your men. Ask them to wash, dry and fold the laundry. Maybe even put the clothes away.
- When your man does something sweet for you, hug him, thank him, and some extra time in the bedroom would encourage him. When he sees he is appreciated, he will gladly do more around the house.
- Refrain from being critical and judgmental. Also, please don’t nag. These will only make your partner not feel like helping out. Be patient with each other. Understand that you come from two different backgrounds and talk about solutions.
- Take part in a Rekindle Your Romance Retreat to tighten your bond.
Also here are some insights for men that I found on Men’s Health website. Figured men would appreciate a man’s point of view:
Couples decide to live together out of love for one another. Remember this bond and reconnect regularly. Learn to have open communication and patience with one another.
Can you relate with the above situation? How do you handle laundry and chores at your house? Do you have any tips to share? Please share below.
Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP
Empowerment Personal Coach and Mentor