There are seeds that have been planted into each one of us. It’s up to us to nourish these seeds and allow them to flower 🌸.
Whether it’s at a networking event, a party, a business event, a stock trading seminar, at a conference, the grocery store, the park, on vacation or anywhere else I find it interesting to meet someone new and to get to know them. It does not matter where you first meet someone, when you introduce yourself, of course, you state your name and in one way or another, you are being labeled and you are labeling. The more you communicate together, the more labels you have. This makes sense because we label everything. We label food, cars, clothing styles, homes, neighborhoods, stores, movies, music, schools, materials, chemicals, plants, animals, jars, drawers, weather, eras, wars, and so on. We have been doing this since we were toddlers. So, it’s seems only natural that we also label ourselves and others. We are trained to do so by society and the people closest to us.
Many people tend to understand each other based on these labels. From there, we decide whether or not we like them or not, want to be closer to them or not, and so on. We decide whether we can trust them or not, how we feel about them, we judge them, and put them into a little box in our mind. Here are some of those labels:
- Mother, Father, Sister, Brother, Uncle, Friend, Enemy
- Skinny, Fat, Ugly, Beautiful, Pretty, Hideous
- Nice, Mean, Kind, Rude, Stingy
- Actress, Model, Singer, Paparazzi, Reporter
- Leader, Follower, Influencer, Hater, Authentic, Fake
- Criminal, Cop, Judge, Lawyer
- Banker, Accountant, Janitor, Engineer, President, Chef, Homemaker
- Emo, Prep, Goth, Valley Girl, Foreigner, Native
- Rich, Poor, Sleazy, Clean, Responsible, Irresponsible
- City Boy, Country Girl, Suburb Guy, Beach Girl
- Young, Old, Babyish, Mature, Immature
- Healthy, Sick, Healer, Carrier
- Hard-working, Lazy, Smart, Stupid
These labels are just a sample of what we label ourselves, label others, or others label us. We are so used to labeling each other and in many areas, it seems like an appropriate way to introduce ourselves, especially at work. For example in a hospital environment, if you are a Doctor, it is important you let your patient know this. Same thing goes for other hospital employees like a nurse, a technician, or a janitor. In addition, hospital visitors need to identify themselves with labels like mother, brother, friend, supplier, salesperson and so on.
Labels can have a positive effect in other areas as well. For example, when you are looking to connect with others like moms connecting with other moms, fitness enthusiasts with those looking for inspiration and responsible people looking to connect with other responsible people.
Unfortunately, some labels seem to have a positive effect at first, but then can lead to imbalances in life. For example, labeling a girl as pretty and never acknowledging that she is also smart can make her become so concerned with her appearance and using that to get her ahead in life. This puts a lot of pressure on a girl.
Other labels are simply outright discouraging, like ugly, poor, lazy, and stupid.
Sometimes labels put people into a box and create expectations from other people. For example, many people call me nice. But, I am not always perfectly nice. I make mistakes or may be nice in a way I think is nice — but not necessarily nice in a way someone else thinks is nice. When this happens, one may then label me a hypocrite — even though I did not label myself nice. Another example, is the label Mom. People put moms in a box thinking they are suppose to be a certain way and when they are not, people will be shocked and say something like, “Isn’t she a mom?”
These are just a few ways that labels impact our lives. I can not possibly give every example in this short blog article, but we can discuss this further on #InspireChat on twitter on Monday at 12pm EST on twitter. If you miss the chat, you can share your thoughts below and share some insights you have about labels and/or how they affected you.
Many people hate making mistakes and even worse they despise admitting they have made a mistake. Making mistakes may seem to be embarrassing, a waste of time, frustrating and bad. But, like with most things in our life, there are also positive sides to making mistakes.
‘All men make mistakes, but only wise men learn from them.’ – Winston Churchill
- Refines Values: Have you ever made a mistake and then felt that you went against what you believe in? This feeling can help you learn more about your values and then give you the motivation to refind them and to make choices to stay true to them. Tip: Take time to evaluate your actions and see how they went against your values. Figure out what you could have done differently to be more aligned with what you believe.
- Learn what does not work: Many mistakes clearly teach us what does not work for a specific situation. You tried something and it failed. Tip: After learning what does not work, make sure. Instead, try something new.
- Improve your problem solving skills: Thomas Edison has made many inventions that solved many of our problems. But, along the way he made mistake after mistake before creating a successful invention. Each of these mistakes he allowed to improve his problem solving skills. Tip: Instead of getting upset over a mistake, brainstorm over how to find a better solution.
- Opportunity to learn or to discover something new: Sometimes being careless and making a mistake can help you discover a new way or something new. I use to take road trips often and if I took a wrong turn by mistake, I would take the opportunity to discover something new. Sometimes adding the wrong ingredient to a recipe can lead to a new dish. Tip: When making a mistake, ponder over what you can discover from this mistake.
- Mistakes sometimes lead to positive outcomes: In addition to life coaching, I also day trade in the morning before seeing clients. As a day trader, sometimes I need to click the buy and sell buttons pretty fast. Once I made the mistake and hit the Buy button instead of Sell button, so I ended up buying double! I was sweating and getting nervous. But, this mistake ended up being positive for me since the stock climbed. I sold for a bigger profit than if I would have not hit the buy button on mistake! Also, check out how this mistake made this 34 year old woman 54 million dollars richer! Tip: When you realize you made a mistake, don’t immediately be annoyed by it. Reflect over it and see if it can actually be a positive mistake. These types of mistakes teach us to not be too hard on ourselves and to be more open.
There are many lessons that we can learn from making mistakes. After you learn your lessons it is wise to let go. Yesterday on twitter, I hosted #InspireChat and the topic was Learning from Mistakes. I asked the following questions. Feel free to read over these questions yourself and reflect within. Then share your answers with me in the comment section or on twitter. I would love to read your thoughts. Also, use this article and your reflection to help you better view your future mistakes, because even though we would not like to make them, we know we will.
Q1: What are the differences between learning from a mistake and dwelling on a mistake?
Q2: Is it worse to make mistakes or not make mistakes? Why?
Q3: How can we learn from our mistakes?
Q4: How can mistakes help us to discover who we are?
Q5: How can mistakes teach us to forgive better?
Q6: What can we do to recognize the positive aspects of mistakes?
Q7: What are some tips to overcome the fear of making mistakes?
Learn from your mistakes, let them go and move forward with great wisdom. As a life coach, I have helped hundreds of people learn to make the best of their mistakes and to stop making the same mistakes again and again. If you are making the same relationship mistakes, fitness mistakes, career mistakes, and life mistakes and not learning from your mistakes, reach out to me and I can help guide you so you can move forward with your life.