10 Benefits of Unconditional (Agape) Love in a Committed Relationship


There are many types of committed relationships. However, marriage and those agreeing to date exclusively with one person (whether living together or not) are the committed relationships that I am referring to in this article.

agape love opens communication

When in a committed relationship, love is an important ingredient that holds this special bond together. True love is without conditions. Yet, most partners in a relationship have conditions on their love.

These “love conditions” are often created out of some kind of fear based on past experiences from either childhood upbringing and/or previous intimate relationships.

However, those that put conditions on their love are missing out of many the benefits of unconditional love.

Sylvia Massara stated, “Unconditional love is the greatest gift of all.” By loving unconditionally, you and your partner are rewarded in so many ways–ways that you may not have ever considered. I would like to share with you 10 of the benefits of loving your partner unconditionally that I have personally discovered through reflection, experience and watching others.

  • When you love unconditionally, you feel more connected to your partner because you see you partner as he or she really is. You are more curious to explore who they are, what they enjoy, what they experience, what their thoughts are and so one without judging. The more you accept your partner the more your partner feels free to be themselves–therefore, the more connected you can be to him or her. This connection leads to more satisfaction which leads to more white cell activity according to medical doctor Vermon Coleman. White blood cell activity enhances the immune system which is known to kill cancer cells and improve your overall health.
  • When you love unconditionally, communication is more open, honest and welcoming. Communication is one of the most vital parts of a relationship. It will exist longer than beauty, physical sexiness and many of the abilities that you and your partner enjoy together. Open communication allows for a deeper, more intimate bond that is long lasting.
  • When you love unconditionally, you let go of control. When you love with control, there is often tension that is running through your nerves. This tension is felt through to your cells and can cause illness if prolonged. Control often employs tactics that are unfair such as negotiations that go against your partner being who he or she is. These tactics often cause tensions, resentments or other emotions and reactions that are unhealthy for a relationship, as well as your own health.
  • When you love unconditionally, you are focused on the present moment instead of worrying about the future of your relationship. This allows you to enjoy each other on a deeper level every day.
  • When you love unconditionally, you are not easily angered nor irritated by your partner for the little things he or she may do, like a habit of leaving up the toilet seat, arriving late to dinner once in a while or forgetting to call you when they state they would.
  • When you love unconditionally, you allow for more self growth within yourself because you want to become a better partner.
  • Loving unconditionally leads to less resentment. When you are often telling your partner that they don’t do something as good as you would like, or that they need to change, this can lead to resentment. Your partner may change for you because of your persistent remarks, but they may resent this change because they may not truly want to change. Or, they may resent you for not accepting them as they are even though you choose them as your partner. This resentment can lead to tension in your relationship.
  • When you love unconditionally, you are more patient with your partner. When you are impatient, you are often desiring a certain outcome and are displaying that you are not pleased in your current situation. When you are patient you have peace of mind. 
  • When you love unconditionally, you let your partner know that they matter to you. When your partner feels like they matter to you, they are more likely to treat your with more respect and loyalty, as well as improve their abilities and relationship skills. People do thrive when they feel they matter.
  • When you love unconditionally, you are able to learn from your partner. Every person that you encounter has much to teach you about life and yourself, especially your partner. Your partner is unique and was raised differently than you, so he or she has a different perspective on some areas of life, love, relationships, business and so on. So, instead of judging or trying to change your partner, embrace who he or she is. Your partner may open you up to a whole new world that can brighten your mind.
There are many, many more benefits of loving your partner unconditionally. For many people this is difficult to do because of fear of being emotionally hurt in some way. But, if you truly love unconditionally, the rewards you receive in your health and emotions far outway the possible effect of what possibly may happen in the future.  However, I would like to note this: If abuse is a factor in your relationship, whether it is emotional, mental, physical or sexual, unconditional love does not mean that you should stay in your relationship. You can still unconditionally love your partner, but you also need to love yourself. Loving yourself is not allowing yourself to be abused in any way at all. Unconditional love is not attaching yourself to someone under any circumstance, sometimes it is knowing when to walk away from an unsafe situation. This does not mean that you do not love them, but it means that you love yourself. (This is a topic that I will go into deeper in another article…but if you need help in this area, please reach out to me.)
If you are in an non-abusive relationship, commit to loving your partner unconditionally this Valentine’s Day. If is free, yet the best gift you can give your partner as well as yourself.
Your Turn: 
What are some benefits to unconditional love that you have experienced or have witnessed in others? Please share them below.  
Joanne Cipressi, CHt, CNLP
Empowerment Coach and Speaker
267-266-6480For help with bringing more love into your relationship, feel free to reach out to me for coaching and support. I love coaching couples and seeing their love grow towards one another. It is one of the most beautiful rewards of my work. :)

About Joanne Cipressi

Joanne Cipressi is an empowerment coach and speaker who's life ambition is to encourage people that they are worthy of happiness and living the life they want. She has over 13 years experience in coaching people to overcome depression, addictions, low self esteem, trust issues and the effects of abuse and to develop the skills for great relationships, attracting and keeping clients/customers and balancing the mind and emotions.

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10 Responses to 10 Benefits of Unconditional (Agape) Love in a Committed Relationship

  1. Michele Price @prosperitygal February 12, 2012 at 6:26 pm #

    It would be nice if we learned as children to love ourselves FIRST, when you possess it you can give it.
    Michele Price @prosperitygal recently posted..Houston Aeros Supports Breast Cancer Awareness GameMy Profile

  2. Harleena Singh@Freelance Writer February 13, 2012 at 5:30 am #

    Beautiful post Joanne!

    With Valentine’s Day coming up I guess we all need such reminders of unconditional love and need to bring it into our systems!

    I guess with our busy lives and work that never seems to end, so many of the things that we would want to do or feel like doing- do take a back seat. So, I am sure glad for days like Valentine’s – when we can reach out and connect with our loved ones :)

    Thanks for sharing :)
    Harleena Singh@Freelance Writer recently posted..Simple Ways to be Romantic on Valentine’s DayMy Profile

    • Joanne Cipressi February 23, 2012 at 12:02 pm #

      Hello Harleena!

      Unconditional love is such a beautiful gift. It benefits both the receiver and the giver. Writing this post was also a great reminder to me as well. Felt really great to write it. :) Thanks for visiting Harleena! Hugs to you!

  3. Tracyann0312 February 13, 2012 at 5:48 am #

    Great post Joanne. Loving yourself first is important in loving others unconditionally. At least you have great idea on how to communicate well to your partner. Also, unconditional love is not measure in the things that bought your love into happiness, but in reality where our love lies beneath.
    Tracyann0312 recently posted..נטורופתיהMy Profile

  4. Julie February 14, 2012 at 10:49 am #

    Great reminder on Valentine’s Day! :) How lucky that we are “made” so that we do love our children unconditionally. Otherwise mine would have been thrown out from the house several times :) . OK, it is not THAT serious. Love this day!
    Julie recently posted..veneerMy Profile

    • Joanne Cipressi April 7, 2012 at 12:15 pm #

      Julie,

      Haha! Thank goodness for that!! Oh yes it is so wonderful to have a natural unconditional love for our children. They are such lovely gifts to us to help us learn how to love unconditionally!
      Joanne Cipressi recently posted..Play-Doh Family FunMy Profile

  5. chanikacha February 15, 2012 at 7:30 am #

    I do agree with you all, We must love ourselves before loving someone else. If we don’t love our self it will only leads us to heartbroken.

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